From me, to the Class of 2006.....

This post is long overdue.I have been thinking of this since the day I wrote the introduction to the REM.When I wrote that I realized there is so much more that defined our batch,that made us different from the ones earlier.When seniors go back to NIT and find changes,it would have been we who began them.
I could not write all that in the REM,for they were my personal observations,and I was writing then for all the four hundred odd people in our batch,something that will always stay with me.

To start with I saw different shades of life in each of my four years at NIT.And I interacted with three batches of seniors and juniors.Some of my observations might seem biased,and indeed they may be,but I write this not from my opinions of individuals but from the overall outlook and mentality of the people.Indeed maybe three years from now my juniors might feel the same.

It began with ragging.While nothing can justify slapping somebody in cold blood,we took it,simply because we could do nothing about it other than destroy someone's career.The fact that at the end of that ordeal I have discovered some admirable people does nothing to justify that,though I have no bitter feelings towards the same now.As we went along to second year,third year and so forth,we managed to cut down the incidents quite a bit.Now when we finally passed out there was hardly the same fear and fright associated with it.

There is also the whole idea of seniority.It was always taken as a potential weapon to win all battles,and to inflate bruised egos.You were never given the dignity due to you,and even after freshie party and everything,you had to remember that the seniors are always right.That changed completely when we became seniors ourselves and that is the greatest contribution we made,in my opinion.

As juniors ,the worst jobs always go to you.Nothing exemplified this more than cleaning up the food,which stinks up to high heavens,after the annual puja.The seniors would watch while the first years did all the dirty work.That made our blood boil.We had decided that we wouldnt make our juniors do what we ourselves wouldnt.When I waded into the job of carrying and dumping the leftovers,I realised for myself that I had earned their respect only then,not before.What I say is a general trend that was there in our batch.

Can there be anything more humiliating as a third year than getting slapped because you booed a senior during a cricket match?Or having to hide out in seniors hostels for the night because the losing senior team is out to get your goat for showing the middle finger during an on-the-pitch sledging incident?
This was what the Ruby Cup was till last year.Juniors never dared to applaud a shot for fear that the other team would beat them up.And as juniors you can never win a match.While you would hear the choicest abuses directed at you on the field,God save you if you retaliate!But we made sure things changed.The juniors(second and third years ) were in full force to watch the matches.Final years,including me drew boos,words,rebukes and all that happens in the field of play.But we took it like men,and not take the easy way out like earlier years.The result was the fairest Ruby Cup tournament ever,and not won by the final years!

Another refreshing change has been the interaction between boys and girls.The comments and taunts that I was so used to hearing when a junior is now a thing of the past.We have treated our juniors as equals,and the result has percolated down to all the batches now.Now when we see first years being rude and insolent,sometimes we wonder.Was it right?Why dont we fix them now?The temptation is there.But then hell,he has got the right to be rude hasnt he?

So my friends,let them be.We have ushered in a different and may I add,better culture into the college.Lets not change that.As final years we have earned our respect,and not demanded it.That will never change.
There are other accomplishments of ours that are well documented,and I would rather not go into those.This is more important.
When I was standing in Ashutosh Hall in Calcutta,in 2001,and there were 3 mechanical seats vacant in NIT Trichy,I didnt take it.Most of you know this.I have wondered hard and long in retrospect why I didnt.Perhaps it was because it wasnt meant to be.And so it was that at the same place the next year,I chose NIT Trichy.And what a difference its made to me.Whats a year in this whole lifetime anyway?I would have been much the loser even if I had gained a year.

This is dedicated to all of us-boys and girls of the Class of 2006.I am proud to be one of you,for I believe,truly,that we have made a difference.....
Cheers to the spirit of NIT Trichy...
Cheers to the Class of 2006...

With malice to none and charity to all.............

Today was a nice day.An unexpected peice of kindness really touched my heart.One of my class mates has got a job which pays quite well.There are more than three hundred applicants for the job ,and though I had applied,it seemed remote that I might get called for an interview even.But he surprised me by asking me for my CV.,saying he will forward it personally so that at least they read what is in it.It was unnecessary,he had no axe to grind,and yet he did.It was great.I dont care whether I get the job or get called for an interview,the gesture was worth more than anything else.In this place that so far has me unimpressed by anything in particular,it was a nice moment.Maybe there are nice people here too.But this just set the tone for the evening.
Every Friday,we have what is called Aggie Nights.You get free pizza ,bowling and pool till midnight.Its in a place called MSC( Memoral Students Centre) dedicated to all Aggies who have died, or will die,in wars,past or future.I went today for the second time.There is a magnificent lobby with plush sofas and chairs for students to eat,sit or simply hang around.There is also a grand piano which anybody can play.
I had my pizza and I was siting in one corner of the lobby,alone.Someone was playing the piano,beautifully, and the flute as well.The lilting tunes,the soulful melody,made me envious as always-for that gift of music which I lack and yearn for.But there was more.Having had enough to eat,it was so pleasant to just sit there and watch the world go by.More than that ,it was rare to just be.Without worry,without feelings,to be empty of thought and to be ,for lack of expression,I will paraphrase Lincoln,with malice to none and charity to all.People were rushing,people were eating,some were rushing off to the Bollywood Night,but I just sat there detached,a spectator enjoying the view perhaps,but with disinterest.
It made me realise that solitude is beautiful too at times.I will sign off by quoting, as always 2 more lines:)I dont why,it just leapt into mind.
"Tell me not in mourful numbers,life is but not an idle dream,
Life is real, life is earnest, grave is not its goal."

life within, and without a classroom.

I am in a much better frame of mind today,primarily because of having submitted two assignments in two days and next due only on monday.So it time for what I hope is a light hearted look at life here so far,in and outside class rooms.I have been planning this for some time but the day has finally dawned today.
I will start with what seems funniest to me-meeting professors for Ra and TA.I met several so far and right from seeing their resume my anxiety mounts.Oh this guy is a stud,I tell myself.With what face do I mail him?Even pressing the send button for a mail seems to be an affront:)Mostly they dont reply,but some did,asking to meet at such and such hour.
The time comes,and it all seems to go wrong just then.For myself ,I never am short of words,people close to me know that :)In NIT I never felt afraid of any prof probably because I knew I am better than them.As a result talking to them was never a problem.I could always come up with some jargon that would frighten them.
But here as soon as I knock on the door and go I feel my knees quaking as though I would wet my pants:)I do not know what to say and there is an irresistible urge to blabber which I suppress with great effort.I mean these people have teaching careers since before I was even born.Suppose he asks me a question,I wonder.What if he asks me why my gpa is less?What if he finds out that I didnt write the CFD code of my final yr project myself?Such thoughts run through my head.Thankfully they dont ask.But they do ask what exactly do you want to do?And then I blabber.Words rush out,I talk incoherently.If there was a jammaster,he would penalise me for slurring,stammering, and sppech defect all at once, and the prof says politely-"say that again?"I do,take a deep breath and start repeating my cv verbatim.The usual answer comes back."I am sorry,there are no vacancies in my research group now,but you can check back in January."Thus after seeing the gold coated middlefinger,:) I go out.Outside you find another student ,Indian usually,waiting.:)He has heard all that happened and he goes in to try his luck.Simple variations of this incident everytime.At the ned I got very pissed off and very bold.I just barged into a chinky profs room without appointment.Imagine my brazeness when I tell an Aerosol prof that I am interested in fluid flows!:)I came out very quickly from there.Err...iblog..you have had such romantic interludes with profs before??:)
And that reminds me ,this week everything seems to incomprehensible.It seems these tensors were lying in wait for me all these years.I was relaxing in class,for everything was merely a repeat of what I knew,when suddenly I heard the name Fourier.For the uninitiated let me tell you whenever you hear the names Lagrange,Euler,Fourier or Cauchy,you better sit up, for they can do unspeakable things to you during examinations:).This warning of course is not for compsceez(have they ever done anything worthwhile?:)okay I am ready for the backlash to follow:)I did when I heard and suddenly the screen was filled with integration signs,summation signs and infinities.I am no village idiot at maths (thats enough of chest thumping for today:),but it was a horrible experience.Well, yesterday that and today these tensors.Perhaps this is grad life:(Lets see whats in store next week.Its going to be work I think after 4 yrs of picnic in NITT.:)Thats all now,am feeling hungry:)

They flash upon the inward eye,which is the bliss of solitude...

Today I want to say so much but there is so little time.I was working and as I get paid mostly for getting bored,was reading blogs.I came upon a few really beautiful lines,that made me remember some of the best I have ever come across yet.Here are all of those that I could recall........

"Beware,you are heading where you are going to"-Chinese proverb
I had this pinned over my table in Topaz.It is the most subtle proverb I have ever read.It seems so trivial but when I first heard it I was bowled over by the sheer beauty of its phraseology.There is so much depth behind the simple words.Invariably everybody who ever came to my room would ask what it meant.

"A stick cut in half everyday, and so till eternity"-Chinese adage
I found this on the cover of a book by Tai Ran Hsu,on MEMS(Micro Electro Mechanical Systems).This is most mundane I know, but brilliantly contextual.It is the basic principle of working in the microdomain,to reduce all dimensions.It was my elective and though I recall nothing else this is etched in memory.

"To see the world in a grain of sand, and heaven in a wildflower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and eternity in an hour"
I fell in love with these lines when they appeared as a footnote in the Pragyan souvenir and have never stopped thinking about them since.They are from William Blake's Auguries of Innocence.I have read the poem and its sheer musicality is mind blowing, and though I have never figured out what these lines mean,it has only deeepned the mystery around them.

"What though this radiance which was once so bright,
Be now forever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour,
Of splendour in the grass,of glory in the flower
We shall grieve not,rather find
Strength in what remains behind"
From Wordsworths Intimations of Immortality.I will never for get this,for I wrote it in the card we gave for our seniors farewell.Perhaps neither will they.More interesting is its context ,that Kabir Bedi quoted this when talking about his four wives:)

"If you can meet with truimph and disaster,and treat these impostors just the same,
If you can risk all your winnings on one turn of pitch and toss,
lose and start again at your beginnings and not breathe a word of your loss
If you can fill the unforgiving minute with sixty second worth of distance run,
Yours is the earth and everything thats in it, and whats more
You will be a man my son!!"
My favourite lines from Kipling's If.I think of it as my guide in life and it adorned the walls of my room in Topaz just like one more of my favourites,Lincolns letter to his son's teacher.

"The man who knows not,knows not that he knows not, is a fool-shun him.
The man who knows,knows that he knows not,is a simpleton-teach him
The man who knows not,knows not that he knows,is sleeping-awaken him"
-Arabian proverb
This was stuck on the door of my room,taken from The Hindu pages.It lasted till the ward boy thought better of it and tore it off one day while cleaning my room.

"This too shall pass"
The thing which cheers me up when I am down and sobers me down when I am too happy.

"The race is not to the swift,nor battle to the strong,but its to those who want it the most"
You cant put it any better.I know it now.

"mere man ye bata de tu,kis aur chala hai tu,
kya paya nahin tune,kise dhood raha hai tu
jo hai ankahee,jo hai ansuni,ek baat kya hai bata..."
The latest tune to capture my heart,and also the eternal question that I often think about.Though I have a pathological hate for Karan Johar,SRK,Aishwarya Rai and anything to do with their movies,atleast Johar has the good sense to choose good singers!:)

That will be all now.I shall put up more as and when I remember.I hope to discover and come across more like these in future.

Let the battle begin..........

I am writing this from the Blocker Bldg ,a kind of Octa here.
I have been here for some 2 weeks now,the land of milk and honey,but as yet I am not floored by the place.In fact I cant say that I am enjoying life here.At this point I am reminded of something that I had written when alone in my room,almost 4 years ago,one afternoon in Trichy,hardly a month into college then.
New to college and living in hostel, with all the rigours of ragging,I wondered whether it was worth it to leave home.I even wondered whether in future I would be able to reflect back with pride on the 4 years ahead.I still have the page with me,and whenever I read that it makes me laugh,for those years have been the best in my life yet,and indeed I can reflect with pride on them.I made freinds for life and became a better person.
Now I find myself with similar thoughts again.But the circumstances are changed slightly.No more am I a wide eyed young boy coping with ragging and living alone.But if I felt dejected then now I feel cynical.
For finally the Rat Race has me too.Thats what it is here,a veritable rat race-a rush to find jobs and aid,with secrecy and stealth.Once you get one,you can be the picture of magnanimity,but not till then.I do not think I will ever make freinds here-colleagues maybe ,but never freinds for everyone has their own axe to grind.
Incidentally, I too truimphed in the race,getting the post of a copy editor in the local newspaper.Ironical too that all my engineering skills and education could not get me what my avocation could-70 dollars a week for 2 days work.I am looking forward to it and hope to learn from it as well.
Again I ask myself whether it was worth it to come here leaving all my freinds behind.I was reading Paulo Coelho's "Manual of the warrior of light" in which he says there is no joy in reaching an empty paradise.True indeed, I know now.But if I feel anything at all like what I do about NITT,my time spent here would have been worthwhile.
There is a an event called Ekta in which we are asked to perform a skit, giving us a chance to have a good time and show our talents,but I didnt feel motivated at all.For me,having had the whole of Barn up in applause two years in a row, and having earned the respect of some of the most talented people at NITT,there is no drive left.I do not think I will ever be interested in extra curricular activities again.
My classes begin tommorow.The time for brooding is over,but these days that have churned out such thoughts in my mind deserve to be put down for posterity.Today I stand here straddling my past and the present.I have always thought I deserved to acheive much more academically,for modesty is hardly one of my faults:)Now I have my chance to see for myself how good am I.
But I look forward to it, for academics is the only thing that will drive me here.
Let the battle begin......................

The voyage of horror

I will start off with what happened at Calcutta airport.My flight was not connecting which meant that I was exceeding my quota of 30 kgs-mine was 44kgs.I was told by the agent that by showing my BA ticket they will allow me but they didn't baggage charge for 14 kgs was Rs 1800 approx.I had smthg like 1000 rs only.I went and talked to the airport duty manager,he refused and told that I have to pay the fine.The amount I came to know only at the counter and when I told him I had only rs 1000 he told me nothing can be done.They would not accept dollars also.he sent me to the duty manager again,I requested him to reduce the fine.finally he agreed.he waived off 7 kgs.I paid fne for 7 kgs which was rs 955.As you then know I was rushed off to special security check up and check in.I was running all over with 46 kgs of luggage and now find it hard to believe that I could lift and run with that all over the place.I was the last to board the flight-the bus taking me had only 2 people.Flight landed at Bombay at 8.15 am.Food was bad on the flight.I immediately called up Anupam.he was sleeping,I told him to call home and tell .After claiming my bags I went to the exit where they run free buses to Intnl Terminal.I immediately got one,The journey took 10 mins.There I immediately went into the terminal.Inside I first had to check in the boxes.There I was told that the BA from London to Washington was delayed and so the BA staff had booked me on United Airlines(UA) instead,the first available flight,at 11 am london time.So I was to spend 8 hrs at London isntead of 2 .They asked me to check in my bag also.I was allowed to keep my file folders though.I checked in and then called home.The flight was scheduled for 1 pm but eventuallly took off at 3 pm IST.The food was good,there was a Tv for everyone on the seat handle.The flight landed at Heathrow at around 8 pm local time.The best thing BA did was that they put 4 of us together- a girl recently married going to join her husband,and 2 working men,one at SAP and the other at Patni computers.All of us were headed to Washington and were seated together.It was still light at London.There was a bitterly cold wind blowing.We went into the transfer terminal-for people who dont have a transit visa to UK-we cant go out into London,we just check into the next terminal bldg.There were walkways there,you simply stand and they roll on like escalators.At the terminal our problems started.The security had been beefed up.We were told we enter carrying nothing or dont enter at all.All I had was my file folders and a book,as did my friends-but even that was not allowed.He told us to get a transit visa,check out and come back into the departure section where we might be allowed to keep them.So we all went to the immigration counter and filled out forms for transit visa.That was easy,we got one for 24 hrs and walked out.To find out about carry on luggage we went in and found all UA counters closed bcos the next UA flights were almost 10 hrs away.So there was nothing to do but wait.We were not provided hotel or lounge acco,which is mandatory if delays are for more than 8 hrs bcos they were already full and only for executive class passengers.As night came on at Heathrow it got colder and colder.Luckily I had my NITT jacket.The seating arrangements at Heathrow were terrible.We had to occupy chairs and not leave them or someone else wld have sat and the chairs were more like seats on public buses-mumbai airport had brilliant seating compared to this.It was night and all shops started to close.Only 2 duty free shops remained open.Only 2 of us had sweaters on.the other 2 felt really cold.We went and sat at one of the shops.people were sleeping on the chairs inside.By this time I was hungry and thirsty,and there are no drinking water facilities in Europe.Water costs more than beer and soft drinks here.I had to pay 1.5 pounds for a half size bottle of water!Then we kept on sitting and talking.I felt hungry,paid some 2.4 pounds for a sandwich containing slices of cucumber and tomato.pathetic to think that I was paying more 200rs for that.Just when it was getting unbearably cold an airport official arrived distributing emergency blankets.these are scotch brite sized packs when folded.They are made of kevlar-nothing but the polythene gift wrapping paper(silver coloured)-but surprisingly effective.two of us slept in the cafe itself.me and another guy went and we found a corner where there is less wind,spread out the sheet and slept on the floor of the airport..Everywhere there were people lying and sleeping.I got up at some 6 o clock in the morning and went to check.The counter of UA was open.They told us we can checkin only at 8 am(3 hrs before) but also told us that only a clear plastic bag containing imp papers wld be allowed in.Everything else-files books etc had to go ina hand baggage.So we got up and purchased a bag for 7 pounds.We put all our files in it.i kept only documents required for immigration with me.Flight gaian was delayed and instead of 11 am it left at 3 pm.But the flight captain was an ex army pilot-he made up for the delay by 3 hrs almost.I must say one thing about Heathrow-its huge.I have never seen anything like that.It has some 10 terminals for international flights-each terminal is bigger than the entire Mumbai airport together.each terminal has 55 gates for departure.so there can be 55 flights waiting to take off at any time form one terminal.Planes are like cars on the runway there.One is accelerating while another is just taking off.This flight had less leg room(economy class).I saw the movie on flight and we landed at Washingotn at 2.30 pm local time.We had to fill out Customs delaration and i94 card on flight.There were lots of security checks everywhere and went in for immigration clearance.That over I had to claim my bags.Except my bags everybody elses arrived.My freinds left,for people were waiting to recieve them.I talked to an airport official-she told me some bags to Houston were lying unclaimed on another conveyor belt.I went and found all my bags there.Then after customs I checked in baggage again.I converted my rupees to $.I got 17$-@54Rs.I went carrying my back pack-now this was a domestic flight and it was allowed.I waited at the departure gate.There are no phone booths like India-for Isd calls you need a calling card.I found one girl going to TAMU on the next seat.I slept all the way on the flight-I was completely drained out.At Houston airport I found my luggage and found that trolleys arent free.$3 for one.We took one trolley and like crazy somehow went down to the inter treminal train taking us to the exit.Outside I found 4 other people waiting for the 9 pm shuttle to College.We got that and arrived.I was staying with some students who had come in a week ago.I had jet lag only the next morning when I got up to a splliting headache and am fine since then.Everybody says its unbeleivable that I recover in just one night-I think its bcos of my trip to south that I dont have any,my body had got used to it.The last thing that needed to go wrong was this.3days ago when I tried to open my big suitcase- the one I felt had smthg wrong-I found the combination has got changed.It was not opening.So I tried 1000 combinations twice-no result-third time I got it open.Now I have got a calling card for 5$.Me and harsha have shifted to our new apartment.Its terribly hot in here, as hot as Trichy.And campus is huge-I get lost everyday.I have to get a cycle again.More later.

A whistle stop tour

Its been long since I blogged.A lot has happened since.I am recording this so that I may never forget the most eventful week in my life.

I went on a whistle stop trip of Trichy and Ambasamudram via Chennai,in 3 days flat,leaving Calcutta on 6th August and returning back on 9th August!!!

The highpoint of it was my visit to college,though it was for a few hours only.

I remember that on our final journey back in May somu and I were discussing that the true impression we had left on our juniors,of the life we had led,would only be known when we return back,based on the reception we get from them.

I must say I was really moved by the kind of reception I got and it made me feel that I have lived a meaningful life here.Walking alone all the way from gate to the hostels,I remembered that I had traversed that path hundreds of times,but never have I been more alive to the beauty that lay on the way-the delicate smell of moisture on the grass and neem blossoms on the trees outside Octa,the sights and sounds of mornings we harldy saw-than I was that day.It could have been my return from just another vacation,or a night out,for it all seemed so normal-only it wasnt.And that is the maddening aspect of life,it goes on as though nothing has changed.

The other indelible memory I will have is spending evernight on a bus.I spent more time travelling than anything else and its a miracle I got through it all.

Once back it was time for more shopping and packing till finally August 12th arrived.The account of that journey will be in my next post,for it was a horrendous one.