Charm and its cousins

I have often wondered about that elusive and attractive quality called charm. It is known by different names-call it allure, or magnetism of personality or whatever. But I prefer the word charm and I shall try to differentiate between the various shades of meanings later.
To me charm is not beauty-far from it. I have known many beautiful girls and handsome boys who have beauty for sure, but don’t have charm. But let me first make the usual disclaimer that charm, like beauty lies in the eyes of the charmed.( So much for puns intended and PJs :) That is, all that I say is as far as I know, but then its only as far as I know :)
First thing, charm dwells in the face and speech. It depends on what you say and also how you say it. (By this I take the risk of pronouncing that you must be witty to be charming. This is necessary but not sufficient in my opinion:)
How you say it is what decides it. There are people who get away with things which when said by others would surely have been looked upon as stepping out of line, or being impolite. Which brings me to one more truth-charm is not about politeness, its more about insolence with a self deprecating air.
Being charming is about being mischievous, but never malicious. It lies in the warmth of your smile which is cheerful and lively, not cold and frosty as if it was pasted over your face. It lies in that genial look on your face which would suggest that you genuinely are interested in people. When you laugh,(at the joke and not the person), your eyes seeming to mirror your mirth and twinkle with your impish grin, then you are on your way to getting there:)
But not quite, being charming is all this and something else-some quality I just cannot define but which makes its presence felt by its absence:)-which suggests that I have failed to encapsulate in words, the idea of charm.
Allure and magnetism of personality for me are linked with power and position and are commonly associated with celebrities.
Charisma, another oft quoted word, I always thought referred to people who seem to be much more popular than their qualities warranted. It is used a lot with sportsmen, the kind of whom you would ask: “What’s so great about him? Why does he have so many fans?”
But charm is more about your friends and acquaintances, and your conversations with them.
Do I have it? I wonder……….. and hope so:)

The first post

Finally, I enter the domain of blogs.I want to keep it as a record of my reflections and introspections rather than a dairy of events.Only time will tell how far I prove succesful in this regard.I will of course begin with my school,St Lawrence, in part because I went back there yesterday.
Whenever I enter ballygunje circular road,the thought of going back in never fails to fill me with anticipation and joy,even today,five years after passing out.It was no different yesterday going in with my freind and classmate.The years melted away as I saw hopeful madhaymik students begging Father for a seat in the HS,young monitors bringing in the attendance registers,and boys playing in the green fields.Ah!Those fields!when I lie on them and look up at the sky,I feel like I am in some alpine grassland.A walk around the grounds always settles my mind,it has that soothing quality.
Looking at the giant Tamarind tree,and the basketball court brought on a pang of nostalgia as it always does.There were two saplings which used to serve as stumps when I played,now they are full grown trees and sights of long forgotten cricket matches,hotly contested and bitterly fought, came back to me.It also made me wake up to the fact that I was so irritable and short tempered then.Time has certainly changed that.I met the teachers next.
Many have aged dramatically these years and it reinforced what I always thought-that the age scale is logarithmic.Being recognised and loved is such a nice feeling.After this I had samosas in the canteen and they still tasted the same,though they cost more:)Something unique to our school ,I always thought, was the respect accorded to everyone and our uniform.In no other school have I heard of a farewell for the gatekeeper or janitor on his retirement.Our uniform previously was steel grey shirt and navy blue trousers,and tucking in not allowed.This was bizarre but meant to drive the point home that clothes dont make a man.It also gave us a distinct identity and I never felt strange wearing that uniform or daring to be different.The school has degraded a lot these few years ever since they changed that uniform for a more conventional one worn by many run of the mill schools. But it still has the quality that makes us want to come back.The relations with teachers do not end on receiving the marksheet.I have never understood the attitude of some students who just wont accept that they have gained a lot from the school.But my school means so much to me,that is beyond words of expression.

Ending on a sad note I mention a friend of mine from NITT, Ishan Bajpai, who expired in such tragic circumstances last week.The notorious loud mouth of our batch, he brought us so much joy and it is cruel life that has cut him short.There was so much that he could have done in life and brought so much happiness to those around.Its a week now but I can still feel my eyes clouding and the salt in my mouth as I write this.Farewell, my friend, wherever you are,all I can say is my final YEH YEH YEH to you.People close to him will know what this means.....