I have often wondered about that elusive and attractive quality called charm. It is known by different names-call it allure, or magnetism of personality or whatever. But I prefer the word charm and I shall try to differentiate between the various shades of meanings later.
To me charm is not beauty-far from it. I have known many beautiful girls and handsome boys who have beauty for sure, but don’t have charm. But let me first make the usual disclaimer that charm, like beauty lies in the eyes of the charmed.( So much for puns intended and PJs :) That is, all that I say is as far as I know, but then its only as far as I know :)
First thing, charm dwells in the face and speech. It depends on what you say and also how you say it. (By this I take the risk of pronouncing that you must be witty to be charming. This is necessary but not sufficient in my opinion:)
How you say it is what decides it. There are people who get away with things which when said by others would surely have been looked upon as stepping out of line, or being impolite. Which brings me to one more truth-charm is not about politeness, its more about insolence with a self deprecating air.
Being charming is about being mischievous, but never malicious. It lies in the warmth of your smile which is cheerful and lively, not cold and frosty as if it was pasted over your face. It lies in that genial look on your face which would suggest that you genuinely are interested in people. When you laugh,(at the joke and not the person), your eyes seeming to mirror your mirth and twinkle with your impish grin, then you are on your way to getting there:)
But not quite, being charming is all this and something else-some quality I just cannot define but which makes its presence felt by its absence:)-which suggests that I have failed to encapsulate in words, the idea of charm.
Allure and magnetism of personality for me are linked with power and position and are commonly associated with celebrities.
Charisma, another oft quoted word, I always thought referred to people who seem to be much more popular than their qualities warranted. It is used a lot with sportsmen, the kind of whom you would ask: “What’s so great about him? Why does he have so many fans?”
But charm is more about your friends and acquaintances, and your conversations with them.
Do I have it? I wonder……….. and hope so:)
1 comment:
pamb and i were talking about this post.. we of course agreed to the fact that people who are charming appeal a lot more to us than those who're just beautiful/handsome/sexy etc etc.. but we were talking about the fact of a person being charming only in the eyes of a particular person like u said "like beauty lies in the eyes of the charmed" but i somehow also felt a corollary to that existed where sometimes its a general opinion that a particular person comes across as charming or someone who is universally charming. our discussion was taking an interesting turn when the great mr.pamb cracked a pj (whats new u ask??) he said, "yeah there are universal charmers.. like snake charmers.. they charm all snakes!!" now what dya have to say to that one???
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