I am in a much better frame of mind today,primarily because of having submitted two assignments in two days and next due only on monday.So it time for what I hope is a light hearted look at life here so far,in and outside class rooms.I have been planning this for some time but the day has finally dawned today.
I will start with what seems funniest to me-meeting professors for Ra and TA.I met several so far and right from seeing their resume my anxiety mounts.Oh this guy is a stud,I tell myself.With what face do I mail him?Even pressing the send button for a mail seems to be an affront:)Mostly they dont reply,but some did,asking to meet at such and such hour.
The time comes,and it all seems to go wrong just then.For myself ,I never am short of words,people close to me know that :)In NIT I never felt afraid of any prof probably because I knew I am better than them.As a result talking to them was never a problem.I could always come up with some jargon that would frighten them.
But here as soon as I knock on the door and go I feel my knees quaking as though I would wet my pants:)I do not know what to say and there is an irresistible urge to blabber which I suppress with great effort.I mean these people have teaching careers since before I was even born.Suppose he asks me a question,I wonder.What if he asks me why my gpa is less?What if he finds out that I didnt write the CFD code of my final yr project myself?Such thoughts run through my head.Thankfully they dont ask.But they do ask what exactly do you want to do?And then I blabber.Words rush out,I talk incoherently.If there was a jammaster,he would penalise me for slurring,stammering, and sppech defect all at once, and the prof says politely-"say that again?"I do,take a deep breath and start repeating my cv verbatim.The usual answer comes back."I am sorry,there are no vacancies in my research group now,but you can check back in January."Thus after seeing the gold coated middlefinger,:) I go out.Outside you find another student ,Indian usually,waiting.:)He has heard all that happened and he goes in to try his luck.Simple variations of this incident everytime.At the ned I got very pissed off and very bold.I just barged into a chinky profs room without appointment.Imagine my brazeness when I tell an Aerosol prof that I am interested in fluid flows!:)I came out very quickly from there.Err...iblog..you have had such romantic interludes with profs before??:)
And that reminds me ,this week everything seems to incomprehensible.It seems these tensors were lying in wait for me all these years.I was relaxing in class,for everything was merely a repeat of what I knew,when suddenly I heard the name Fourier.For the uninitiated let me tell you whenever you hear the names Lagrange,Euler,Fourier or Cauchy,you better sit up, for they can do unspeakable things to you during examinations:).This warning of course is not for compsceez(have they ever done anything worthwhile?:)okay I am ready for the backlash to follow:)I did when I heard and suddenly the screen was filled with integration signs,summation signs and infinities.I am no village idiot at maths (thats enough of chest thumping for today:),but it was a horrible experience.Well, yesterday that and today these tensors.Perhaps this is grad life:(Lets see whats in store next week.Its going to be work I think after 4 yrs of picnic in NITT.:)Thats all now,am feeling hungry:)
2 comments:
Lol.... very entertaining, no I can't say I have had such encounters but we were always shameless enough to barge in if we found the prof's door open and ask for ra positions. So don't worry, everybody goes thru the frustration , lack of confidence etc. One piece of advice, they don't expect you to know everything. They know that you don't know and they accept that. What they want is an enthusiam to work, an interest in the field.
So before you go, it helps to have checked out the papers that the profs have written and have some ideas on them...some controversy, some thing you found interesting.
And about the Lagrange, Fourier and compscis never having to study anything worthwhile, I should inform the ignorant mind :) that Compsci was initially a maths branch. It was only in 1964 or 1982 that it became a branch by its own merit. So compsci = specialized maths and includes all the transforms and matrices that seem so incomprehensible to every branch. :D
The idea is confidence and ability to be calm and tell the prof. about his subject and your interest in it.
If he asks a question, which rarely is a possibility, and you dont know the answer... say.. i would like to learn the answer of that question... will you give me a chance sir ?
It helps to show some work of yours on his subject.. may be some extension of his paper or probably your little research.. or your comments.. anything would help.. it shows your enthu in that field.
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