Monday, July 23, 2007

Zipcodes and other matters of national importance

Its that time of the year again,when young men(women too before a feminist disapproves) with dreams in their eyes board flights to this land of 2% reduced fat milk and orange blossom honey.So naturally the question of my address came up, for hosting these new kids on the block.Incidentally, with several people of my college coming,it should be fun.But anyway while typing out my address the zip code caught my attention.
What a peculiar word- Zip code.
Instantly my fertile imagination began to conjure up appalling images of zips which open only with codes.What a cataclysm to befall the male bastion, I pondered.If zips were ever coded.Getting my cycle lock opened when its raining itself takes time, as I found out to my anguish a couple of days back.If nature ever puts you on notice, getting the....err..... zip( for once the author is short of words,and his alternatives all appear most inappropriate:) open in time can often be most challenging as most of you must definitely have found out a few times in your life.And imagine a three digit number lock on it, to compound matters.The prospect chills my bones to the very marrow.
And while we are at it let me digress and expound my views about the zip.A most versatile thing,the zip.Have any of you ever wondered why the zip was named the zip?Am sure you never have so I will proceed to elucidate my line of thought. Imagine trying to explain to a 4 year old boy what the zip is,without using the word zip.
The car zipped down the road. He zipped past in his cycle. Are these descriptions based on the the way the"zip" moves? Or indeed is the zip called zip because it goes "zip-zip-zip" when you pull it up or down?Does it indeed go "zip" or are we conditioned to hear it as zip because we named it zip?You see what I mean-I have run rings around you with this profound tautology.
Of course I with my infinite wisdom can define it purely as a mechanism with interlocking teeth moving on a blah blah blah....but the child wont be impressed and probably ask me if I have been eating locoweed.
I can hear cries of people in my mind already, shouting-
chaat! (dismissive)
chattttttttttt !! (irritating)
chaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat !!!( means if I could get your neck in my hands right now I would love to apply a sufficiently high moment so that torsional failure occurs:)
The last of these is typically reserved for me when I am in one of these moods. :-) One of my specialities and delights was to extract the above mentioned sentiment from perfectly nice people.Like Montmorency in 3 Men in a Boat, my day is never complete or satisfying if I don't do this to atleast one person.
By the way,the different contextual usages of the word chat is what distinguishes the NITTwit from his lesser brethren.But again if one is a nitwit by nature,you cant teach one to be a NITTwit.So I desist.
But to round up this matter of import-I finally found a solution that allowed me to breathe easy somewhat. I remember when I was a kid,if your..errr..zip wasn't properly zipped up,the concerned person used to be alerted that "his postbox is open".(I desist from talking anymore about this most wonderful metaphor)
And there you have it!! A perfectly close formed solution to our problem! Zip Codes...post boxes...the connection would be obvious even to morons!
For others motivated by this monograph,I would suggest that the word "pin code" as used in India might also yield interesting solutions upon introspection.That might be a rewarding line of thought.In fact if I could I would myself pursue it :)

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Idle ramblings

This is being written as a comment to this-
http://a-mavericks-foghorn.blogspot.com/2007/07/of-nit-t-niit-and-it.html

If you have finished reading that then you may proceed to read what I have to say.
I must say my friend had a perfectly acceptable explanation as to why he went about reading the same news item ,or rather different versions of the same news (should I use new as the singular of news??Very singular word -news..pun intended of course..How does this sound-sensational new,hot new etc..Anyway never mind!. He assures me its not because he is sitting jobless in summer at the very least(?)
The news item hardly surprised me-the branding of NITT as NIIT.Being the busy man that I am(!) I just laughed it off with typical sarcasm,but my friend here could not stand the perpetration of this outrage.After all a gold medal with NIIT inscribed on it is hardly worth the glister is it?:)
To continue-let me play Devil's Advocate.Let me try to explain that such errors are quite possible.It is all attributed to The Printer's Devil .(no relation to Devil's advocate,mind you)
To illustrate let me tell you a most instructive story.
Once upon a time,The German crown prince was in England for a visit.
The newspaper headline went- "German crow prince in London"
Understandably outraged,the Germans demanded an apology which was duly tendered by the newspaper the next day.It read:" We apologise for our error in the story of the German clown prince".
Well,need I say more?.The Germans didnt ask for another apology.
That was my point, and may your cup of woe brimmeth, if you didnt get what I meant!!
To talk of more random issues regarding NITT, I think its fated that the NITTwit will never get his due. Back home in Calcutta in the days of yore when I was a young boy having just secured admission to NITT/REC Trichy,I remember friends of my dad in his office asking "Chele kothai podche?"( as in where is your son studying)
My dad, with suitable pride in his voice would reply to which they would ask:"Oita kothai, Bangalore?"(is that in Bangalore?:) My dad would be suitably miffed,while my ever present sarcasm would make me laugh.
There you have it- the tragedy of it all, NITT being reduced to a no entity near Bangalore.The joke is on Bangalore more than on NITT -this for the benefit of those among my readers whose heads are virtually cathode ray tubes (and I always suspect Iblog to belong to that set:)
The incident I narrated has happened too many times to pay any attention to.But now for an interesting case.
At the end of 3rd sem perhaps,I was bankrupt.But worse-Pattu and Ashwini were also bankrupt-worst of all I was bankrupt because I had lent money to Somnath (the eternally poor:).
I asked my dad to send me a DD.My dad, with his customary pride, addressed it to NIT Trichy instead of REC Trichy despite my warnings.The inevitable happened-the DD reached home after I came home for my holidays.
With that anecdote,this proud NITTian takes leave of you.I thoroughly enjoyed myself, pulling lots of legs in this post.
On a more serious note-congrats to the guy joining PSU and saying no to 23lpa.You will go places !Dont you worry!

Tagged !

Rules:
1.Players start with 5 random facts about themselves.
2.Post these rules along with your 5 random facts.
3.Tag 3 other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

Well, here goes 5 random facts about myself-

1. When you talk to me,I often go off on a tangent, carried away by some word or phrase .This is at times irritating to people (though not to my best friends, I imagine:)For starters-when I was "tagged"-the first thought was Orkut, Gazzag,Zorpia, Jhoos and now this new thing called Tagged, which is spamming my inbox like crazy:-)

2.I have got a great memory for people,places and events-I can recall with vivid details what I was doing, what we were eating, what each person said and so on.But no!I do not remember the difference between upmilling and downmilling,or the intimate(!) details of an engine lathe,or what is the pitch of an M10 screw/nut/stud/bolt ;)

3. I love puns-especially of the raunchy kind.I love to play with words, and manufacture innuendos out of the most commonplace statements.A particularly well documented habit ,no more on this!!

4.I love food and eating-and can go to great lengths for that.It has been said (rather unkindly by Somnath,I should add) that I never say no to food.

5.I am a nice guy!!! (Yes, really...:)))

I tag-Maverick,Lassie,Ranjiv